Dating a medical school student
If you insist on dragging someone into this mess, there are four things you need to know…and when I say : Just to be clear and make sure you understand… Be prepared to be the one that bends, and then bends again and again and again throughout this entire journey. Hopefully, they can plan their study schedule around it. It’s probably is easier to go through these medical school years single, but knowing someone is in your corner, cheering you on, and sharing this journey with you, can be worth all the blood, sweat, and tears.
But when you add the demands and stress of medical school it makes things a little more tricky. I’m assuming you have a calendar with your schedule on it. : If you have any important dates (work, events, family) where you would like your loving med student to join you, then please, please, please, let them know as soon as you know. But also, dating partners, don’t drop a bomb on your med student the night before their exams. (I may or may not have done that multiple times.) In Conclusion… ***Bonus tip for the dating partner: If this all sounds like way too much work and sacrifice, then go with Plan B: Go have a life for 7-10 years, and hook back up when they are a real, practicing doctor.
We fell into the most intense connection either of us had ever experienced, and within about a month of meeting, we were both talking about what it meant to fall in love.
We had careers, interests, and personalities in common, and even the friends/family we met on each side approved.
If I could wave a magic wand, I would just be about his schedule. The brutal hours plus the additional presentations, papers, and research requirements constantly sucked away the tiny hours of time we could find to spend together. I just feel like curling up in his arms and crying, but there is nobody there to curl up into. Your kisses seemed grateful, loving, with a hint of desperate, with a hint of, “I just woke up again and realized you are next to me in my arms still …
I would orbit around it, fitting my work/clients and life in here and there. The more exhausted he became, the more out of balance I felt. It was studying for boards before; it is the roller coaster of ICU nights now. I told you that I had gone back and read what I had written over our months together. and that is a miracle.” When we discussed the training demands of the medical profession, mostly he expressed utter hopelessness that it would ever change, and would speak of student loans and family relying on him.
That just comes with the territory of dating someone during their medical training years. or at least bring a friend, just in case, so you don’t end up dining alone.
So if they tell you they will meet you for dinner at pm, do not expect that to really happen…
We lived and relationship’ed together mostly in the shadows of the night; in the times between my graduate schedule (full-time school) and his rotations at the clinic and hospital.
When I was finishing my fifth year of studies as clinical psychology doctoral student, I fell in love with a second-year medical resident; a wanderer at heart with the softest smile and a way of listening that made me feel like the whole world stopped when I spoke.
Whenever possible, we found ourselves in the forest exploring the world on foot or, if the weather was bad, on long drives that led to nowhere.
He was so behind on sleep on the holidays he had off that instead of going to be with his family or mine, he stayed home and slept. I could barely choke out the words of my hurt and surprise to find that you had asked me several times to open my heart. Throughout the night, the few hours I slept with you, whenever you stirred or woke, you kissed me, over and over through the night, my hand, my back, my chest. When we went out of town for the weekend with some of his colleagues, the first conversation as a group was how to change the escalating demands of time, sleep, effort, that they were all suffering. We decided to cut it off cleanly and grieve our losses.
I became increasingly hopeless that our connection could survive long-term. He invited me out to dinner a month later to find some closure.